The business world is rapt with a lot of discussions today about how organisations need to move towards a culture of open conversations. Organisations are streamlining efforts to foster a culture of dialogue – interpersonal, intrapersonal, inter-group, and intra-group and cross functional bridging hierarchical barriers. But what happens when two people indulge in conversations is just the tip of the iceberg.
When you speak to someone irrespective of how emotionally close you may be, you only reveal a fraction of what you want to say. Most of the information lies hidden behind the facade of emotions, situations, environment, people and relationships. Being unaware of the hidden or leaving it unnoticed may lead to dire consequences and might even lead to the purpose of the conversation getting diluted.
The more we are able to unravel what is below the range of visibility the better we become in the art of communication. The only way to do this is to sharpen our understanding of the hidden – both in ourselves and in the people we communicate with. The more we train ourselves in deciphering this, the more likely we are to have conversations that involve true empathy, mutual learning, and we will realise that barriers don’t exist.
We all have conversations where we feel that we could have put the message across better. Many times after speaking you feel that there was something missing, but cannot pin-point what that exactly was. A lot of times our mood gets the better of us and we end up hearing passively instead of listening actively or you are unable to articulate your message as effectively as you should. These problems arise because we undermine the importance of communication skills – communication skills are not only about how to communicate but also what to communicate and more importantly what not to communicate.
Self-awareness plays an influential role in developing meaningful conversations. The more aware we are of ourselves, the more we will realise the extent of correlation in our innermost feelings and that will open the doors to better management of extreme emotions like anger or fear. This will help us express ourselves better because we get to connect to our thoughts, needs and wants. This is the foundation stone for understanding others.
As we build that “never – easy” connection to our emotions, we decipher them better and use them to carry on conversations with others. People who have higher Emotional Intelligence also tend to have better control over their verbal and non-verbal behaviour and exhibit confidence and ease in their kinesics. This is because somewhere we are able to put a full stop to that internal “commentary” we have always been having when we speak to someone else.
If you have felt that emotions should not be carried to workplace but, end up finding that they follow you like your own shadow, maybe it’s time to introspect.