Mrs. Juggles social environment has affected her emotionally due to which she feels intimidated. She fears that if she fails to take an action, situations would turn out negative. She feels nervous and helpless due to factors which lie beyond her control. So how would Mrs. Juggles deal with her problem?
Many a time people feel better when they are in control of things or people. Lack of control can make people feel helpless and miserable. Being in control of ourselves and our lives is a positive factor. However, we need to understand that we cannot be control of all things such as other people’s feelings, actions or behaviors towards us (social stimuli) or weather or stock market (physical environment). There can be a lot of conditions, circumstances or situations t that can arise in our day to day lives that affect our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. These form the environment or stimuli which can be physical, social or psychological.
For every kind of stimuli, we respond. The basic fundamental principle of human nature is that we are conditioned to respond to a particular stimulus or environment in a particular way. And this conditioning is something which we have inherited or learnt during our developmental years. As noted earlier, our social or physical environment can affect our feelings, thoughts and response. However, there are two ways to respond. We can either to choose to respond our natural way or we can choose the way to respond. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist, states that between a stimulus and response we have the freedom to choose.
Marcus Aurelius, a stoic philosopher pointed out that most of our distress is not because of the external stimulus which causes the pain or hurt but because of our estimate of it. He states that we have the power or the right to reject the hurt if only we choose to. It is natural for us to feel hurt by social, physical or economical environment. However, we have the power or right to reject the thought and feelings caused by the external stimuli through careful consideration, by choosing and internalizing values.
In the case of Mrs. Juggles as long as Mrs. Juggles has self-awareness and is confident of self, no one can snatch away her self-respect or reputation unless she willingly gives the permission for other comments to affect her life, well-being and future prospects.
We can decide to reject all negative thoughts and emotions that can hamper our life, well-being and effectiveness. We have the right to reject our usual way of response to the external stimuli no matter how challenging or intimidating it can appear. By internalizing positive thoughts, we can redirect our emotions to a much higher value based response. To know more about how to internalize positive thoughts and know how to choose the right way to respond, try getting into a coaching relationship!
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